Past is Past….

DROP THE PAST TO WIN THE PRESENT AND TO CONQUER THE FUTURE The most difficult thing in life is to drop the past – because to drop the past means to drop the whole identity, to drop the whole personality. It is to drop yourself. We are nothing but our past, you are nothing but […]

via WHEN THE EGO DISAPPEARS, THE DIVINE APPEARS — The Essence Within

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Me Stanza….

It made me travel to a vague destination in my mind, where I didn’t want to wander alone yet it made me feel that my heart was made only for them, that even when ME had times where me cried for me, he is there for me……Ofcourse I’m not talking about a person, he ‘was’ so good, where me life was held on, with his other mates who loved me too as a friend whom they could count on, though they took a lot of space to live but, the space he kept in my heart was like the space itself. He wanted me to be with him and never let his sole success fall down, this mystery not only made me wandering alone now followed by the urge that me longed for-making me feel alive. Yesterday me saw him happy taking his food from the yellow thing, and his success dancing with wind, but his silence of heart was awkward, he is hiding something….me got up happily to look at his face and saw not only saw his success depleted but also lost him completely. Why didn’t he tell me this would happen? The poetry of his is never dead within me. He gave me peace in me soul….

The leaf- his success was no more there and he- tree was cut off by the crowd because he took much space……as in when days passed me never forgot him, me liveliness is lost.

Me felt everything strange and different!!!

(Inspired by the trees being cut down in my areas and places elsewhere)

Rare

(It’s a free verse poem, so if there is no rhyming don’t overreact!!!!)

I had this desire, which people don’t like much,

Makes people strive for find shade but, I just keep holding on there,

This desire makes me burn only from the outside,

Deep inside  it makes me more strong,

They make me know the drops of my life with their dreary light,

The sunlight streaming on my face is such a rare good feeling,

While I again tell u my desire,

Nothing but staying for longtime in the sun….

 

It’s hard…..

Some people say you’re my bestfriend but how many actually mean it??

I have been wondering for awhile on this thing because I still can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality….this sickness which I have will never ever go; the homesickness of finding a home I want to return or maybe a home which I never had. It’s hard cause I’m a big wanderer and people find it hard to stay with me for a long time, happens because someone is better than me after all who wants to be with a person like me…..we all want is just selfish people and the ones whom we want to be like, we want a place to fit in with someone else. But, to have an absolute controlling influence on yourself according to me yes, it’s hard, so fast we get into bad things and when we are taught good, “no,don’t teach me” is the reply you get back…..

For me it’s hard now whom to trust unlike before I would trust anyone so blindly that I forget myself, my own presence later, after I had experience with friends, family and relationships too I realised that there is beauty more than the skin-deep within us!!!

I discovered something lovely by chance; that emotions which I see in someone else’s eyes are my own emotions that were reflecting back to me, and so I realised such a fool I am…….the love I gave to my friend was the love reflecting back but the reflection turned into devil while the love I had was sent to an angel…….

Since then I know, if your actions can speak louder than words than my words are louder than your actions to put you down, don’t tempt me yet I’m having that mere urge to search something far-off and indefinable which is also unfamiliar,strange,rare and yet marvellous. I still look for the serendipity and waiting for the moment of revealation….

Winter!!!

Its winter and we all miss the warmth of the sun when it snows. We people are like snowflakes all are sweet yet bad in their own different way. I’m so quiet maybe because I have so much to say in the same way, when I see snow fall down silently touch the ground makes me know that snow itself has deeper whiteness in it which we need to dig in…..

Winter is the season for cosiness and hot cocoa and fuzzy socks….even in the winter the invincible summer made me go deeper to know what winter is and it makes me a better me, when I have no one to listen to me snow is my friend I pray to snow to give me a different tomorrow and it happens….last night the snow waved me goodbye and all melted but in the morning I saw a different view…..

Once I used to walk on the empty ground and now when I walk my leg goes deep to touch the ground….the sky once so clear is filled with grey heavy clouds.

In winter I never feel anything but am happy to see everything because sometimes not feeling is also a beautiful feeling, yet it’s a true fact feelings are important. When in winter I go near the sea the good vibes of the tides I feel alive but sadly it is impossible to comprehend everything…..just like a person never reads a book but read themselves through a book same way, I look at myself through winter while snowing, keep covering things up to let people have the air filled with curiosity and mystery….

The time I haunter in the forest with trees covered with snow because of the solitude and beauty, the cool breeze touching my face makes me feel home,the nature around me felt right and welcoming…I found warmth in the sunless weather into the woods making me feel warm when I was little and in the lap of my mother’s, holding me tight…..the path which I choose in winter doesn’t mean that I’m lost but found a deep awareness of my true self, resulting me to true happiness

HIM!!!

(Totally fictious, don’t relate it to my life)

I have feelings for him, someone whom I love but does he too??

This is my guy sweet and subtle, known him for months now but seems like forever. He thinks of me as intelligent and always right, also thinks as me being just a simple nice girl. His dream girl has qualities like this as far as I know, he wants his girl to not just be pretty, kind, pure heart, smart etc….but a girl who has delusions of things being more beautiful than they really are….

He is not just someone for me but everything now, he has deep sensitivity to the beauty of nature. Far more good I find in him is that awkward silence which feel releiveing for me, his heartbeats echo in my ears when he sits next to me. Amidst all of the other he is the only one who finds it hard to express his feelings, but if woke up from the bed I bet you could have never seen anyone with so high spirits.

His eyes are always eager, even though I can’t love him so much, I felt him yesterday and again fell for him today…this process keeps repeating!!! He wants to travel without his shoes on, go into the woods, find a new path and see where it leads to a better stand. Those lips are like candy, no one has ever noticed him much more than I did.

When I sit with him, my hearts tells me talk something but my mind says wait let him start..maybe back in his mind even he thinks the same like I do?? The warmth of his love I die for him to accept me the way I am is like fire….keeps changing, never the same. My heart sinks when he isn’t back anymore, and turns into a feeling of anticipation when I am looking out for someone who can’t come to you because of the place you are dragged into is just not your cup of tea to escape from. But I have realised that it’s better to love someone who loves you rather than whom you love…..

His way of thinking is like the quote–“You are not the mistakes you have made”. Very few of us can accept him/her with our sad yet happy past, but he is the one whom I don’t want to hide from anyone. He is the reason why I am confident to show myself outside, that insecurity of me being an badass introvert has faded looking at him, though he is the same as me!!!!

There are still more things about him but for now…I know he can’t be written even in a book because he is just UNIQUE for me!!!!

“For me his presence and absence both mean a lot” just that I would never let him know about it…..He is there loving someone while I silently love him here.

Is this Fear?

“Philophobia”

Mistakes happen with everyone but changing how you act to them because of the situation is the biggest phobia we all have. This word are for the ones who are merely scared of falling in love, in my opinion people like these are the ones who don’t beleive in love or in themselves maybe.

In today’s world we all think LOVE is dieing for each other, we make promises and etc….love is nothing else but still seeing your grandparents together holding hands, standing for each other, even after fighting they forget about it and look up to each other. Even parents teach us about love…the blissfulness and hardwork of their shows onto us–parents stop their kids from using mobiles or hangouts with friends; yes, we do get angry-even I do get angry but on the brighter side it shows their love for us, their concern for us. A mother carries her child for just 9 months but a dad carries the child’s weight for lifetime….

Love just doesn’t signify age but also personality, character of the person….

Love never told us die for each other, break up with someone and love someone else. Love happens just once and that once is something so true that you can actually not only feel the physical bond but this spiritual bond too. It is said most of your true love you find in your hugh schools and I find this fact very true…..it’s a matter of fact there are break-ups and such bulsheivik things but that just makes us more stronger.

Love is the only feeling which makes us discover who we are; the more hard our love is the more great fighter we become. It is something worth fighting for but you should not be the only person fighting for it…..in relationships we all have to push ourselves. All relationships look perfect but trust me none are, these are those twilight bonds which tells us about it’s depth and we shoudl be faded in it, these are those small things which can be done in great ways to be peaceful.

Love is nothing to hurry about, go slow and endure every moment of it only then the fear of it will tarnish!!!