“You see, I struggle with mild chronic depression. I can wake up on any given day, the world perfectly at peace around me, and feel as though every ounce of what makes me me has been stolen away. Ambition. Drive. Motivation. All of it.
I feel empty. Passionless. Broken. “
I HAVE LOST MYSELF.
Depression means feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Aish! I could just list a thousand unknown feelings which we humans don’t know about when we feel depressed.
“I’m sorry to say, but these days I do feel depressed.”
This very sentence is heard by all of us from people who are actually going through it and the most wrong reply we give them is “there’s always someone worse off than you are”. Now come on we know there are many going through this, instead I’d love to hear if they said “You’re not alone in this” this would make me feel fresher. There are many of us who are going through depression every day we all know that but we just don’t show it, of course, why would we cause we don’t know how to say it. Depression is a feeling which cannot be said but only felt, do u agree or no?
A woman when she is divorced her man the pain going through her can only be felt by another lady who has been through it we kids-sixteen, won’t know how it is feels. But, I give her a hats off cause she knows they were met for two reason either he was a blessing or a lesson for her. I’m going through depression but all I want to tell the others is that you have endured, I know you are broken and know the hardship yet you have to stand still moving forward each day, it’s easy for all to tell us that start letting go of the things that have happened but hard for us to digest that fact, only if they knew the harsh lessons that we have been through we learnt from it and made us stronger so, better they should keep their mouth shut. According to me people who expect are the ones much more depressed than the ones who don’t, am I right? It’s prominent to everyone so yes, I am right. We see the world through a different perspective we think something extraordinary which others can’t think of for instance, I love the colour green so much that I could just marry it if it were living whenever I feel depressed I just look at green, cherish the colour so much I don’t know why I do it but, it does make me feel calm to be honest that’s the only colour to which I talk to. Yes, I know this is funny but it’s the truth. One day, I was just sitting in the classroom and my friend approached me she told me, “stop feeling sorry for yourself” but all I wanted at that moment was a hug…..I still remember the day when I was in 10th grade and I felt so depressed due to some family issues, I was on the edge to break out crying I wanted a hug so badly and for sure I did get it, in return the person too started to cry and said don’t ever hug anyone you can make someone feel depressed. I was struck after this sentence since then I never hugged anyone much.
Depressed people would often get suicidal thoughts don’t take their words for granted if they say:
- “You’ll be sorry when I’m gone,” “I can’t see any way out,” — no matter how casually or jokingly said, may indicate serious suicidal feelings. I say it but them friends and all laugh at me so even I laugh along with them. It’s important to know even when depressed people say I’m fine or I’m ok, their words they do mean something deep you just need to use your common sense to understand it.
- Self-harming- Not all suicidal people who try to kill themselves in every way possible are insane. They must be upset, grief-stricken, depressed or despairing, but extreme distress and emotional pain are not necessarily signs of mental illness. Even the most depressed person has the mixed feeling about death, they try to balance their thoughts on one side whether they should live or die. However, they don’t want to die they just want the pain to stop because they have been so immune to it that even if by mistake they get by a sharp thing they won’t feel the pain even though blood is oozing out from their wound.
To be honest, even I’m depressed but by saying it here doesn’t mean I’m grabbing attention or “expecting” anyone to feel sorry for me.
As I said before most of the depressed people are the ones who expect a lot that’s what I have heard but to get their damn fact correct sorry buddy we don’t expect but we hope, don’t confuse yourself with these words. We hope things to happen, it’s better to have surprises because the struggle that we are going through today makes us stronger for the struggles we will face the next day. When I look at the sky from my window, it looks so empty just like how my life is but then; I stop and say to myself I’m happy to be going through it now!
It’s not noticed by everyone we all go through the same problems in our life every house has the same story like ours. For example, peer pressure: my friend when she was 10 years old went through a lot of peer pressure and look at me I’m going through it now, now I feel back then how she felt; the only fact that has changed is we don’t meet now anymore. We all go through the same problems but at different times, some kids see their parents’ divorce when they are young while some kids see their parents’ divorce when they grow up.
All I wanted to say now is, as I said before don’t confuse expectations with hope depressed people are in a hope of waiting for their pain to go away not expecting it to finish cause we know we have to see the pain all our life.
It’s a funny fact, but when I’m depressed sometimes I feel to keep hogging the whole day or else I won’t feel to eat or else I’ll sleep the whole day or else I’ll not talk to anyone and many more stuffs I do. When I’m depressed I can’t say what I’m feeling too I just be shut the whole day so that my blunt words due to frustration doesn’t spoil someone else’s day. I spend all my time blaming myself for all, want to heal myself without touching the wounds, I know I can do it….we appreciate to all we have in my life but still we don’t know why do we feel depressed.